FRIENDSHIP SCANDALS (Vol. 5)

'A NEW APPROACH'

Friendship scandals is back again but this time with a different approach. The previous volumes had true life stories pointing at a particular attitude either needed or missing in friendships. This volume will take a different shape as we’ll be addressing several issues with high possibilities of ruining friendships and setting friends apart. It promises to be revealing and worth-reading! 

We’ll be heading straight up to finding out what these issues are:

1.       SUPERIORITY AND INFERIORITY

This is one sure thing that results in friendship scandals. The moment a friend starts feeling superior to the other, it’s a sign that a crack has been made heading towards breakage. Superiority may take the form of finances, academics, family background among others. Friendship should be enjoyed on the platform of what seems to be ‘equality’.  Any relationship where you are made to feel inferior is one that may end up making you depressed with time. It is a situation of superiority and inferiority that can provoke statements such as ‘you’re not in my ‘class’’.

The sincere truth about life is all humans cannot be at the same level either financially, politically, professionally, academically among others. This notwithstanding is no excuse to reflect this in friendships. If you ‘appear’ superior, learn humility! If you ‘appear’ inferior, learn activate your good self-esteem!

 

2.       FAILURE TO ACCEPT FAULTS (ESPECIALLY WHEN GUILTY)

For some friendships, it takes only just one experience such as this to ruin it. For others, it takes the form of accumulation over time. This is a common feature among guys who have problems with handling ego related matters. It’s no doubt that guys have ego and are ready to protect it at any cost. This attitude when brought into friendship only serves as one catalyst to fasten friendship break-ups.  Some ladies are not exempted from this issue as well as they appear guilty in some cases.

The situation is worse when the culprit knows he/she is guilty but still remains heady. Sometimes, all that is needed is the word ‘sorry’.  I was about to make use of the expression ‘the word just sorry’, but I’ve discovered it should be much more from the heart than the mouth else, it becomes mere words with possibilities of repeating the same mistake.

Whenever you’re guilty, be sorry from the heart and not just from the mouth! It will only save and strengthen your friendship.

3.          DRASTIC REDUCTION IN COMMUNICATION

I made use of the term ‘drastic’ to describe a situation that has probably exceeded its ‘elastic limit’. This often begins from gradual reduction in communication; giving room for huge gaps between days of communication. No relationship can thrive without effective communication or interaction.

It helps in getting the attention of your friend or creating a sense of ‘care’. It strengthens friendship bonds as well.

These next three points are sort of interconnected. They are things some of us are guilty of.  I’ve discovered them to be part of the ‘new’ things causing hitches in friendship. They include:

4.       ASSUMING THINGS

This is the ‘I thought’ syndrome. Sometimes, assumptions could be right but when they are wrong, it could be what I call ‘sorry case’.

 It pays to be sure of the things you do, your figures and necessary details. To be sure therefore, most times you need to ask questions! This leads us to our next point.

5.       FAILURE TO ASK QUESTIONS

This is one thing some friends fail to do, hiding under the umbrella of ‘he’ll/she’ll feel bad if she discovers I forgot something so important’. Yes, it is true but the truth remains that he or she will feel worse when you decide to take the wrong step(s) due to your lack of questioning.

6.       JUMPING INTO CONCLUSION
         

Your failure to ask questions pushes you to be left with no option than to conclude. Most times, these conclusions are instant, hasty and too quick rather than gradual. ‘Look before you leap’ they say.

 Leaping without undergoing the first process of looking is dangerous. This same feet is replicated when you jump into conclusion.

    

As new ‘friendship pathogens’ (issues) are discovered, they will be unveiled on this platform. Feel free to also add to this list in the comment box. You just might be saving a lot of friendships.

Thanks for reading!