PAUSE AND THINK (Vol.2): BEFORE SAYING THOSE WORDS!

I’m sure you were able to pick one or two things from the previous volume, ‘pause and think before pointing that finger’. This volume promises not to be an exception as we’ll be looking at something very critical. Critical because we are all involved and connected with this subject. We use it every day of our lives! I’ll like to also include that the writer of this article is also not exempted from the ‘blames’, messages and lessons that can be drawn from the article. We’ll be talking about PAUSE & THINK BEFORE SAYING THOSE WORDS’

 WORDS!

WORDS!!

WORDS!!!

Human beings are very sensitive to words especially on the receiving end. Interestingly, we fall to both the giving and receiving end, although at specific moments. This article majorly addresses ‘the givers’.  Words have the power of influence both on the positive and negative side. The subject of ‘words’ must not be taken for granted. Words are instruments. Words relay feelings, emotions, moments, thoughts, intentions and several internal and external activities.

Words usage varies with individuals. It therefore calls for the need to develop the ability to study the ‘nature’ of the receiver of your words. Know their conveniences and inconveniences. The jokes you crack with Victor might appear as an insult or ‘provoking to anger’ to Victoria. You must have seen this several times. The first experience is usually a lesson. When you observe opposition or uncomfortable reactions to your words especially on first occasions, don’t bottle up. Ask questions. Sometimes, the receiver immediately tells you “I don’t like what you said” but not everyone does. This is the more reason why you should ask questions when you detect anything as such.

This article will not be complete without emphasizing the importance/severity of this matter of the use of words.

·         Words can either make or mar you.    

·         Words may form the basis of your analysis or assessment, especially on first occasions. Here, I’m referring to first impression. So be careful!

·         Words stick to people for a very long period of time.

·         Words are irretrievable! You cannot take them back once they are spoken!

Therefore, before saying those words, pause and think!

Even the Holy Bible urges us to be ‘slow to speak’

Take out at least two seconds to ask the following important questions:

§  What’s the genuine source of your words? Is it envy, anger, jealousy, pride, love, sincerity, constructive criticism, destructive criticism, demeaning of character, hatred e.t.c? 

Once you ask yourself this question, and the answer falls on the negative side, try to keep your words. But if they fall on the positive side, please, don’t hesitate to say them.

§  What’s your motive behind saying those words?

1.       To make people feel bad?

2.       To make people see themselves with low self-esteem?

3.       To make constructive criticism?

4.       To provoke others to anger?

5.       To cause unnecessary trouble(s), arguments and conflicts?

6.       To make people live better lives?

7.       To deceive people?

8.       To esteem yourself more than necessary?

Several other questions could fit in. What’s important is the fact that you identify your motive!

Note: It’s not about making people feel bad, it’s about making them see reasons for improving, correction and living better lives. ’feeling bad’ could sometimes be an effect of your sincere correction or constructive criticism. You know deep down what exactly your motive is. You do!

Again, once you ask yourself this question, and the answer falls on the negative side, try to keep your words. But if they fall on the positive side, please, don’t hesitate to say them.

What should you then do with your words?

ü  Make them seasoned with salt. By this, I mean make them impactful!

ü  Make them true or truth bound! Not fake or hypocritical!

ü  Make them geared with positive and right motives. For example, to encourage others, make them live better lives among others.

With the mind of this series, we say don’t be hasty to speak! Think before you talk!

It is important and safe you pause and think before saying those words!