FRIENDSHIP SCANDALS (Vol. 6) - 'I WARNED HER SEVERAL TIMES'




'I WARNED HER SEVERAL TIMES'


We were no doubt very good friends. Several people could attest to this but this fateful day, our friendship world crumbled. I wished it wasn't something as 'little' as this (at least) that tore us part.

Here was what happened:

After growing fond of each other, I discovered that Simi suddenly began to hit me hard whenever she wanted to greet me. This was probably a 'hidden like' on her part that was yet to surface at the beginning but now it did. I wasn't comfortable with it. I can remember vividly that on the first occasion, I was about stepping into the lecture room when I felt someone hit me (it wasn't hard neither was it soft). I looked back only to discover it was Simi who was now attempting to hug me. I had to reciprocate the hug even when I wasn't comfortable with it. I had to smile & jokingly tell her I wasn't comfortable with the idea of hitting me.

         Sad! It happened again but this time at a different venue. I treated it like 'she had forgotten' I detested hitting me. This time I wasn't wearing my broad smile. I appeared 'facially normal' neither frowning nor smiling. I felt it was high time I told her once and for all with a bit of seriousness.

 I eventually did and she apologized saying 'she forgot'. We were back on track as always.

            It lasted for only four months when she eventually exceeded the limit. This unforgettable day, I was seriously disturbed by a severe headache. Like I always did, I sat at Ricko's shop to buy biscuits while waiting for Simi to finish her last class for the day. I was barely struggling to maintain my composure when someone hit me hard on my head from behind where I sat. Without wasting time, I returned a slap.

It just seemed like a reflex action. Although I was sorry afterwards, I just couldn't control it. Simi was shocked! I was angry at that moment and I burst out with words, recounting moments when I had warned her.

 I remember warning her on three other occasions after 'officially' telling her my dislike in hitting me. I worked out and that was it for the day!

Simi felt embarrassed. The presence of what seemed like her 'haters' made matters worse as they mocked her,'adding salt and pepper'. Ever since then, she has failed to talk to me, so have I. Today makes it a week!
     

LESSONS
The above story captures one thing responsible for friendship break ups. It is continuous repetition of dislikes/hates of your friend (especially when you are aware of the dislikes/hates & your attention has been pointed to it several times).

It is true that patience, endurance & tolerance are essential values with regards to friendship but it is also important to note that everyone has an elastic limit at endurance or tolerance level. Although it varies, it is important to try as much as possible not to get there.

To keep your friendship:
1. Discover the dislikes/hates of your friend(s).



ou can get to do this by asking him/her/them questions to get to know their dislikes/hates. But I've also come to discover that some of the person's dislikes/hates may not be mentioned by the person. Such dislikes/hates can only be identified by  taking notice of how the person reacts to certain things along the path of friendship.

2. Try as much as possible to avoid his/her dislikes.


You may trespass some times but don't forget to not just apologize but also make efforts not to do it again. Remember there's an elastic limit. Someone said something 'The first time is a mistake, Subsequent times becomes a choice'.

3. Sometimes, your likes may clash with your friend's dislikes like the above story. Simi might have loved to hit people hard while trying to greet them but Angela detested it. In cases like this, learn to denial yourself of your 'like' at such moments of greeting.

 Friendship is about sacrifices by the way. Something as little as that shouldn't be enough to break your friendship.

Choose to make your friendship(s) stronger! Focus on making it better & not pulling it down. 

 Be the good friend!

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